Ranting Catholic Mom: What were they thinking?

This list is hilarious! According to Radar Magazine these are the worst and most dangerous toys of all time, as defined by their ability to kill, maim and generally be hazardous to the well being of the children to which they were given.

Each toy is linked to the complete page on the Radar website that has a more complete description of the mayhem wreaked by the particular ~~weapon~~ toy.

Here goes then: 10.) Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

Eager youngsters who gunned the throttle found that it often stayed gunned, stuck in a petrifying state of perma-acceleration. Presumably, the child on the motorcycle was then taken on a hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride.

9.) Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

It takes just a few jabbed eyes, some torn intestines and the death of a child to bring down a party, and that’s just what happened in January 1979, when the battle cruiser missiles were finally recalled.

8.) Johnny Reb Cannon

The Reb fired hard, plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanismâ€”the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth…

7.) Creepy Crawlers

Nothing says safety like an open hot plate. And nothing says fun like using that open hot plate to create molten, rubbery insects you can throw at your sister while narrowly avoiding setting the house ablaze.

At least those who dodged serious injury or disfigurement could safely eat their creation. Oh wait, the critters were toxic, too.

6.) Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

According to SafeKids USA, “Caps can be ignited by friction and cause serious burns.” Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner’s greatest enemy might have actually been puberty.

5.) Sky Dancers

Injuries included scratched corneas and temporary blindness, mild concussions, broken ribs and teeth, and facial lacerations that required stitches. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were eventually recalled, leaving aspiring ballerinas to earn their battle scars the old fashioned way, with an eating disorder.

4.) Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls

With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub’s long blonde hair got caught in the doll’s rabid jaws. After 35 fingers and ponytails fell victim, the Snacktime Kids were removed from retail shelves forever, and 500,000 customers were offered a full $40 refund.

3.) Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales

Unfortunately, children seeking to spend an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death.

CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages five to 17 and recalled three million of them.

2.) Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three “very low-level” radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson Cloud Chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a Spinthariscope (to see “live” radioactive disintegration), four samples of Uranium-bearing ores, and an Electroscope to measure radioactivity.

1.) Lawn Darts!