God Only Gave Me One

...That's what I always say.  I find myself feeling it is necessary to explain why I have only one child.  I love big families.  I think it is generally a kind of child abuse to have only one; no built in playmates or partners in crime, no one to boss around or to be bossed by,  no special friend to talk with after lights out, no one to poke on long car rides, no one to blame for something you did,  and no first cousins for your kids when you have your own.

There are upsides.  Today was one of them.  My son has earned money this summer by taking care of our neighbor's lawn while they were gone.  Today I took him to the bank to open his own account.  After the transaction was completed, my son shook the hand of the banker and said thank you.  We then went to a restaurant for lunch, followed by a trip to the Durham Western Heritage Museum, which is at the site of the former Union Station for Union Pacific in Omaha.

The bankers were doting and congratulatory.  They made my son feel that his deposit was a rite of passage.  They treated him with respect and deference.  It was a lovely experience.

The waitress at the Bohemian Cafe we went to said that she was happy to see my son there.  He told her it was some of the best food he'd ever had.  She said she was glad he was there, because without young people coming to the restaurant, it would not continue into the next generation.  (This is an older restaurant that serves Czechoslovakian food.  My husband and I had our pre-nuptial dinner there.)

Finally, as we walked through the old train cars at the museum, we came to an older man sitting in a 1950's era club car.  We sat down with him.  He told stories of the 50's and 60's and train travel.  He is a retired train engineer.  He told us how the college students could buy cheap tickets home for the holidays that didn't guarantee a seat, but gave access to the club car for a trip of 350 miles or less.  He said the  students would pull out instruments and play music, or read from books, and no one slept in the club car.

He told us about a trip we could take in a classic steam train from Durango, Colorado, to another town nearby through land without roads.  It was so glorious in his description.  He even told us not to wear anything but dark clothes, because the steam and smoke from the train would destroy anything white or light colored.

As his tales went on we were transported to another era, where speed and economy were replaced by the joy of the time taken.  We've been talking about this kind man since.  The whole day has been beautiful.

My Father is an only child.  I get the feeling he did not enjoy it.  He was sent to boarding schools at age 14, then to college where he finished in 3 years.  At that time, finishing early meant you were not awarded a diploma.  He went on to medical school, and has been a successful physician, but his main pride and joy has been in his children.

These are very different experiences, my son's and my father's.  Sometimes my husband talks about sending our son to boarding school.  Given my father's experience, I think the best we can do is to try to fulfill the roles of parents, siblings, disciplinarians, teachers, and friends for our son as long as possible. 

And may God bless all of those who were so kind to us today.  I feel far less guilty about having an only child because of you.  Today, I know, that children need parents as much as siblings.  And both are good.

It's Election Season and I'm not Happy

I feel like I need a yard sign for this election season.  It needs to be the equivalent of a "Beware of Dog" sign.  We have two.  (Dogs that is, not signs)  But they are not the reason I want the sign.  I want a banner that says, "Beware of Informed Voter".  Then maybe I can stop seeing the looks of abject dismay on the faces of those running for School Board and "Learning Community" (because the voters decided one layer of elected inefficiencies was not enough for our growing metropolis.)  The candidates show up at my house and say things like, "Hi, I'm (fill in the blank) and I'm running for (fill in the blank).  Oh, I remember you..."

Yes.  You remember me.  I was the one who was shocked to find that college age students in my university classroom are so accustomed to police presence at schools they can't understand why anyone would be opposed to it.  (Gee, police state education?  Really, is the connection so difficult?)

Yes.  You remember me.  I was the one who said that we need to stop having the state supplant the parents by providing transportation to school, breakfast, lunch, child care before and after school, health care clinics in school,  afternoon  snacks, homework help, transportation home...  What do parents need to do except put a mattress on the floor  and wake the kids up in time to hit the government tit again?  (Yes, call me Alan Simpson, these people are milking it!)  And when bus lines are canceled in you school district the government reimburses you for the gas to drive your child to school.Can you hear the sucking noises where you are?

Yes.  You remember me.  I was the one who told you in our state there is no true expulsion for students.  They just are shunted from school to school, because expulsion is against the law.  "Education" is compulsory.  Unfortunately, learning is not.

So the students, like teachers, have tenure.  And the lowest common denominator does win.  And if you are a candidate, and you plan to stop at my door,  I know you'll say, "I remember you..." Yes, and I'll remember you in November!!!

Conservatives on Campus

I have this really diverse class at the University where I teach part time. I don't mean that there is a large color difference. There's some of that, but what I mean is a diversity of ideas. Hindus and Catholics, pacifists and veterans, vegans and meat eaters, artists and business people... What I find interesting is that the ones most likely to offend a classmate are the students who view themselves as a 'protected' group: White girls who have been told all of their lives that girls are being oppressed by boys/men, while most reliable recent research suggest the opposite is happening in education. Or others... I try so hard to choose topics that I think are non-political when providing examples to my classes. At the same time, I just can't bring myself to talk about things that I don't believe are true. I want to teach my students is not just the skills required to succeed, but the truth. Any other approaches strike me as a sin of omission. If you are a person of faith who teaches people who may or may not be people of faith, will you let me know how you handle this? I want a forum, and advise. Help!!!